A Finger In the Wind: Keeping in His Presence
Dr. Wootton's New Year's Day letter shared the marvelous glory he observed in God’s gathering of His children among Oklahoma churches. In speaking with servants, we all seem to recognize Christ’s recent handiwork in building His Church. Our dear Pastor also stated, “However, alongside these many victories, I have also discovered a "pandemic of loneliness" among ministers. Oftentimes, the evil tormentor wages spiritual attacks against our ministries and our families. During these times, it is tempting to recoil into isolation.” Familiar with the feeling, I was burdened for my sisters and brothers who felt such sorrow.
In reality, no one is really alone, especially in Christ (Rom. 14:7-8). However, discouragement can obscure helpful connections, making one feel very disconnected. The devil does his best to deceive anyone vulnerable to give up hope and to believe no one cares. Not only does it steal our energy and zeal, but it also invites depression. Everything seems louder or further away, and our usual energy is drained. The Deceiver comes to "kill, steal, and destroy" our faith. He wants us to doubt God’s love, to feel unsafe, and to believe we have lost something (I Pet. 5:8-9). In such times, our minds and spirits get distracted from God’s presence and power.
How can we know that our minds, the spiritual battleground, will be aware and present for the Holy Spirit to lead us in difficult contexts? When we are displaced from spiritual closeness, we can be in a vulnerable position to be deceived. Jesus' most poignant command to His disciples was, "Watch out that no one deceives you." He knew avoiding deception would not only be their most challenging task, it would also be ours. How do we avoid being distracted from God’s presence in this chaotic world?
Examples of the Deceived
Scripture repeatedly tells of those distracted by fear of circumstances (i.e., Jer. Chps. 40-42) and/or greed among what appeared to be ardent followers. In the parable of the rich fool (Luke 12:13-21), one might wonder about God's harsh judgment upon what seemed to be a successful farmer. It sounded like he was planning his retirement. What deception did this man believe in, for which he was judged? Given His audience, Jesus used this parable to warn against greed and selfishly storing "up things for himself but is not rich toward God” (v 21).
The rich man reveals his heart's condition in two phrases of the parable: "He thought to himself…" and "And I'll say to myself…" The first shows the self-centered nature of how he saw his benefits and lack of gratitude for God's provision. The second assumes himself as the authority for these determinations instead of seeking God's will and purpose (I Jn. 5:14; II Cor. 10:18). His presumption costs him everything. Similarly, Ananias and Sapphires were punished with sudden death for their attempted deception to receive false acclaim (Acts 5:1-11). In the earthly wisdom of their mind, they were vulnerable to being deceived by the lust for worldly gain.
The Apostle Paul also warns that, like the rich man, this battle occurs in our mind (Eph. 6:10-18 cf. Isa. 59:15-19). In our mind, we are warring against principalities and powers in this world and the “heavenly realms” that exalt themselves against the knowledge of God (II Cor. 10:3-5). As well, our mind has significant effects on our physiology. As a young pastor, I struggled with endless “what if” questions that I had no power to answer. I wasted precious time, emotion, and brain energy on matters that would not make a difference. Sometimes, the sense of loss felt in ministry can distract us from walking fully in the light.
The Distraction of Depression
The primary cause of depression is a sense of loss. When one experiences a loss in any form, our body’s natural response dials down our metabolism to conserve energy. The purpose is to slow us down to heal, recover, and rethink our identity in Christ. Sadly, our minds do not always stay in the reality of such a God-given purpose.
Stress, anger, and guilt can appear as forms of loss. Stress usually involves a loss of control. The loss of an opportunity, marriage, job status, health, freedom, possessions, or people can activate depression. Even just the perception or worrying about such matters changes our physiology to an adaptive state.
People who are angry also turn inward to relentless mental arguments. Recently, I heard a pastor express deep weariness with people saying “no” to his requests for help. His frustration was turning to anger. Anger’s purpose is to preserve personal worth, essential needs, and basic convictions. When one of these personal areas is violated, the body senses a loss. Anger rises to preserve those three things.
Guilt occurs when someone feels they have failed or done something wrong. They feel a loss of security and confidence. It can drag us from the present to past time of loss or conflict that is no longer relevant. Yet our minds return to it over and over. As believers, we must distinguish between accusing guilt and leading from the Holy Spirit. The truth of eternal life stands in the now.
Likewise, our designed neurobiology adapts to both concrete and/or abstract losses, real and imagined. Our home was robbed once, and we lost concrete items like CDs, jewelry, and equipment. But we also lost something abstract: security. The loss was very real. We had been invaded and lost not only things but also the comfortable security of our home, adding the possibility of further threats.
Both concrete and abstract losses are triggered similarly in imagined loss, which is thinking you have something that you do not have. In the concrete, people who buy lotto tickets imagine the smell of a new car or house, and then they lose. When they realize the loss, it can activate the same chemistry as a real loss. In the abstract, a person may imagine having a particular kind of relationship with someone and then find out it was never true. Or if a spouse has left, the other may imagine them returning or believe “if I just do enough, they will still love me and return.” When it fails, the loss is distinct. This process constantly challenges pastoral ministry as we view the coming kingdom and the lost sheep trying to find it. There appears to be a huge gap between the two that weighs on the heart.
Threatened loss is believing you will lose something you have not yet lost. Every time we drove away from our vandalized home, we thought twice about the possible threat of another break-in. Victims of violence struggle with the fear they may again be at risk. Families erupting in conflict in the church can raise stress, anger, and guilt that chase us into mental arguments. This process consumes a lot of thinking space for pastors who love their people.
In the fall issue of OUTLOOK, I explained the by-product of lactic acid build-up in the brain's frontal cortex. It is that foggy feeling we get after concentrating for an hour or so. Worry and mental arguments equally produce this cranial fatigue. The whole problem with this process is that the imagination is the limit. If someone is stuck in imagined or threatened loss, it can self-perpetuate the activation of depression. In turn, depression imbalances your perception of reality, stirring the imagination, which also affects your physiology. How do we avoid this deceiving mental process and remain in the Light as our Lord is in the light? We need to discern what needs our full mental attention and what does not. This is the discipline we are called to in the battle for our minds.
Stay in the Now!
In John’s Gospel, a member of the Jewish ruling council came to Jesus by night for an unstated reason. We can assume he came at night to avoid being seen. However, he confessed something deeply personal. “We know you are a teacher who has come from God” (John 3:2). They knew, and yet refused to accept the testimony of the very signs they knew were from God (3:11). Jesus discerned what he was seeking, and explained the need to be born of the Spirit to know the truth of God’s kingdom. Nicodemus, probably scratching his head, still did not get it.
Jesus declared how true believers walk in the light of divine Fellowship. He illustrated that one cannot tell the origin or the destination of wind. The writer of Ecclesiastes constantly refers to the meaninglessness of such a search. However, Jesus stated that when the wind blows, we know its immediate direction by simply extending a dampened finger into the breeze. He calls us to listen with a finger in the wind to be free to act by faith as unseen as the wind.
As pastors, we desire to be sensitive in a moment to the Spirit’s teachings or calls. In Acts, Ananias went about daily life when the Lord called on him to witness to Paul, not to congratulate him for becoming a Christian. He was going to tell the meanest man known to Christum how much he was going to suffer for God’s name. At that moment, Ananias had no forethought to do such a thing, but he did have a few questions for the Lord. Even in uncertainty, he faithfully obeyed (Acts 9:10-18). He recognized and followed a breeze of Spirit's voice and unleashed God's chosen instrument to carry His name to the Gentiles. Paul never forgot him (Acts 22:12-16). The idea of a finger in the wind follows Jesus’ best advice for following a living faith and walking in His Light.
Four ways to use your spiritual finger to stay in the now of God’s presence:
First, discern the difference between unhealthy guilt and guiding conviction from the Holy Spirit. Guilt is relentless, condemning, and immobilizing by occupying mental and emotional resources. In contrast, good, healthy conviction from the Holy Spirit provides a way out to choose (I Cor. 10:13), resolution in obeying (Jn. 14:15), and affirmation in peace (Jn. 16:33; Phil. 4:4-7). Watch out that guilt, which has no authority to condemn (Rom. 8:1), does not deceive you to waste energy on matters that do not matter.
Be in a position of faith to discern the difference confidently. Remember that exercise is the best treatment for depression. Not only does it keep us in the present, but it also demands that the metabolism arise, changing how we feel in a given moment.
Second, have someone who sincerely checks your perception of reality. This is more than a friend like Nathan was to King David. Nathan dared to confront David because he knew David was wrong about the deception he was trying to keep hidden. The isolation of secret intent kept David from being in the reality of God’s righteousness (Ps. 51). It is usually best to have this person outside the congregational context so they may speak honestly and keep you undistracted. Schedule regular meetings to encourage you to remain connected.
Third, become comfortable with uncertainty. Do not get distracted by the temptation to fix the past (Phil. 3:13-14) or argue mental disputes that are not relevant (Titus 3:8). Believe the wind that He gives to you at the moment you need it (Luke 12:11-12). Faith, by its very nature, must be tested by doubt; otherwise, it would not be faith (Heb. 11:1). The presence of uncertainty is not the absence of God’s blessings or purpose. This paradox creates an environment for the unseen work of God in which we dare to believe. Keep focused on the common good of His kingdom vision and truth and the power of His timing (I Cor. 12:7).
Fourth, practice Being in the moment. Your undistracted presence with another gives them connection with the Holy Spirit in you. Rather than ask, “What would Jesus do?” Ask, “How would Jesus be in this moment?” How would He treat them in light of eternity; how would He give them His Peace? This also provides pastors with an opportunity to ask caring questions about a person's stress, anger, and guilt to empower the freedom of living in God’s presence.
I hope these words encourage your heart to preach boldly and confidently wait on the Lord. Being distracted (e.g., Internet, politics, mood, etc.) in our day and age is a clear and present danger to our faith and our ability to minister to those we serve. Regardless of our contexts, the Kingdom presence of our Lord Jesus provides our everlasting reality. To be in it, keep your spiritual finger damp and in the Wind.
Dr. Kinman recently retired from 30 years as a pastoral marriage and family counselor and 20 years as a professor at Northwest University. He is a nine-year military veteran and now serves the Oklahoma district as an encourager. The Kinmans live with their family in Newalla.
